Real Fears~ June 20th,2006

This is something I wrote way back when.... it's just a writing of things that scared me. Writing them out helped me to name the fear and pinpoint anxiety. When I was able to read what i had wrote the fear of these things slowly went away....


I'm alone. This black room is haunted by faceless forms that my eyes can barely make out. They move fast. I can hear their footsteps running towards me and stop. There's no one with me to hold on to. No arm to keep back the dark forms. I'm alone.

The black, majestic waves grow bigger, become darker. With every violent thrash of the wind, they become stronger. They tower over me. I can't breathe and i drown in the deep undertow. Nothing there to push up on. I gasp for breath and choke. There is nothing around me for miles and the water surrounds me. I'm alone.


The way they move. They scuttle on their thin, scratchy legs. I stand penetrated. Each move they make chills down my spine as though it was they that scurry down my back. They lower themselves down on silver silk threads that stick and capture you. One by one they fall. I'm trapped in their forest built in my own safe haven. I cry for help but no one understands my trepidation. I'm alone.


They're looking at me. It's almost time. My palms begin to sweat and the air around me grows thin. My mind fogs and the ground moves freely under my still feet. My mouth is dry and my heart beats in a steady flow. Blood pounds in my ears, in my hands, in my head. It's time. All eyes are on me. I can feel my mouth move, my voice speak but I'm incoherent to my self. Though I'm in a crowded room; I'm alone.


This house is quiet and empty. It has never known the sound of laughter or the sight of a smile. It has been the home of a single woman for many years. Dust slowly hides the color of the walls, the furniture, the light. The house becomes unmanageable, neglected, and unwanted reflecting the image of the dying woman. There's no one there to save her. No one who even cares. I die alone.